Don’t confuse me with the facts

Last week I read an article in the New York Times detailing several studies which indicate that it’s very difficult to change people’s minds using facts and science. This is hard for me. I am a strong believer in the power of facts to dispel ignorance. However, what this study showed was that when presented with scientific data that contradicted their opinions, people became more firmly entrenched in their beliefs, not less.

 

It appears that appealing to people’s fears and emotions is much more powerful than logical arguments based on facts. Humans, you see, are neither logical nor rational. Rather, we work hard to defend our view of the world and our little piece of philosophical, emotional, spiritual turf. The funny thing is this should come as no surprise to me. I spent almost twenty years as a project manager for health services research projects. Over and over again, it was clear that people were not swayed by health education. They would parrot the answers we wanted to hear and then keep doing what they were doing, as indicated by their responses on follow-up surveys and interviews.

 

All kinds of theories have been developed to analyze why people don’t change their behavior even when presented with good evidence it will improve their lives. The most well known is probably the “Readiness to Change Model” which incorporates stages of readiness to change. This is often cited as a reason for an intervention’s failure. It’s not the fault of the intervention, it’s that people weren’t ready to change. The truth is, few interventions work, because they rely on logic and science and can’t overcome the emotional, spiritual, psychological reasons people do what they do.

 

Often people are only pushed to make changes when life becomes unbearable, or the negative consequences of behavior are to hard to bear. This is when people seek out therapists, coaches, practitioners, psychiatrists, weight loss programs, personal trainers. Then, after working with someone for a bit life gets marginally better, better enough that the person can muddle through, and so they stop doing whatever it was that was helping them. Another reason people stop getting help is when they get to the place where a coach/therapist gets to the person’s root issues, and the person flees rather than examining those issues, because it’s easier to cling to what is than to leap into the unknown.

 

What do you cling to in the dark of the night? What turf do you defend at all costs? What no longer serves you that you still hang onto as if your life depended on it? What is your elephant in the room?

The High Cost of Cheap Goods

Everyone loves a bargain. Fast fashion; wear it a few times and throw it away. Buy more. After all, if the jeans only cost $8.99 who cares if they only last a few months? The truth is there is a high cost to cheap goods.

Almost every week there are articles about factory fires in other countries, fires where workers are killed because the exits are blocked. Almost every week there are stories about people exploited in factories making fast fashion clothes, electronics, and other consumer goods. Since 2006 almost one thousand garment factory workers have died in factory fires in Bangladesh alone.

What, you may ask does this have to do with me? Well, these factories produce clothing for WalMart, the Gap, Old Navy, Kroger, Target, Macys and H & M among other companies. The item you buy at WalMart with a low price tag may actually have a very high “cost tag.”  In 2011 talks were held about improving factory conditions in Bangladesh and reducing fire hazards. The talks didn’t go anywhere because WalMart indicated it would be too costly to make the changes. Several independent sources have estimated that the cost involved would add somewhere between 10 and 30 cents to each item of clothing sold. Is that too much to pay for saving lives?

But, this is not something that only happens “over there.” In 1911, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in New York City, killed 146 factory workers, many of whom were recent immigrants. The death toll was high because managers had locked stairwell and exit doors to prevent theft by workers.  As a result of this fire new labor laws were passed to increase worker safety. Then, as now, the desire to maximize profits and minimize costs led to safety shortcuts and little care for the welfare of human beings.

Today, I invite you to think about what you buy. Think about all the people involved in bringing that item to you. There may be hundreds of people involved in creating a garment you are wearing, or the cell phone on which you are reading this blog post.  Be mindful of your purchases and think not just about the price tag, but about the total cost of the item—what does its production do to the environment and what is its production costing in terms of human life?  Zach Dawes in a column on Ethicsdaily.com suggests seven questions to ask yourself in order to be an ethical shopper: 1) Where were these products made; 2) What are the working conditions; 3) Are employees paid a fair wage; 4) Where and how are a product’s materials sourced; 5) What is the environmental impact of production; 6) Are there harmful byproducts from production or usage; and 7) Can the product be recycled or repurposed? This may sound like a lot of work, but if we truly believe in working toward a world that works for everyone, we have to begin caring about how our actions affect others.

If we are to move into a more enlightened age, it must begin by caring for one another and we cannot do that if we are willing to exploit others for personal gain. Think before buying. Ask yourself, is it worth buying this $6.00 T-shirt knowing hundreds of  lives have been lost in its making?

 

Routine

Recently, driving to Ahava to see a client, I realized I had forgotten to put on deodorant.  After thinking back through my morning routine, I remembered I had been interrupted by the sound of a cat bringing up a hair ball and, distracted, had missed an important part of my routine. Many of us have daily routines, even if we don’t think of them as routines. We get up at a certain time, do things in a certain order. We don’t notice routine until and unless it is interrupted.  Routines can save time, increase efficiency, but they can also be deadening and, in some cases, attachments to routine can keep us from living life fully.

Routine comes from the French word meaning “usual course of action or beaten path,” and is derived from the word route, which means “way, path or course.”  Interestingly, it is when a route becomes a routine that our lives can become stale and begin to seem unfulfilling. Have you ever noticed the first time you drive somewhere it seems like it takes longer than when the route is familiar? The first time you hike a trail, walk through a park, or the first time you meet someone, the experience is different than when those things become familiar? That is what happens when route becomes routine. When things are new we tend to notice them more, this goes for experiences, material objects and relationships with other humans and with non-human creatures such as pets.

New things are novel, and so we want to explore them, get to know them, find out what makes them tick.  Think of when you last had a new love, everything about that person was adorable, you wanted to be with them and were interested in finding out everything about them. But newness only lasts so long. Soon we fall into a routine and we can stop really seeing or even noticing the other person.  A sense of boredom with a relationship, a spiritual path or a material object is often the result of allowing a route to become a routine. And for many of us the “cure” for boredom is to find something new and so the cycle begins again until some of us become shiny new object addicts; the minute the newness wears off we’re out the door looking for something else.

The only way to avoid this is to consciously shake up your routine. Take a different route every day in life. Make a commitment to learn one new thing about your partner/spouse every day. Hike a trail in the opposite direction, drive a different way to work, do things differently in the morning. Stop, look around you as if you are seeing the world for the first time. Watch a kitten, puppy or small child exploring the world, nothing is routine, because everything is new. It is this sense of wonder and newness we must recapture if we want to avoid slipping into routine.

Get away from your usual course of action and get back on the path.

Life is All Around You

The sights and sounds of summer in Kentucky. Cicadas by day. Crickets, frogs and screech owls by night, with the occasional racoon chittering. In the distance the sound of the train whistle.

 

Lazy afternoons watching juvenile Cooper’s hawks spiraling in the sky calling to each other as if to say, “Hey, look at me, I’m doing it. I’m flying!” Birds too numerous to count trilling, chirping, peeping, singing. Robins pulling worms out of the ground, garter snakes cooling in the shade. Chipmunks stuffing their cheeks with sunflower seeds. Squirrels running, running everywhere, forever in a hurry. Butterflies and moths flitting. Honey bees and wood bees and bumble bees. Wasps and hornets. Japanese beetles in their metallic armor.

 

Plants coming up through the cracks in the sidewalk defying all attempts to deny them life. Beans and peppers and tomatoes ripening in the midsummer sun.

 

Life is all around you. Listen for it. See it. Feel it. Revel in it, wherever you are.

Sheltered or Unsheltered

I read an article this morning about people in the Seattle area who live in their cars, RVS, SUVS, etc. The cost of living is so high in Seattle that more and more people are being pushed out of the housing market. This is happening around the country. And, because there are few places to park off street, it’s difficult for people living in their vehicles to get access to services and/or apply for jobs. Whatever the reason people are unsheltered, they are stigmatized, stereotyped and neglected. This is only one reason why people may be living unsheltered.

 

There are many reasons people may not have permanent shelter. The issue is not the reasons why people don’t have permanent shelter, but the response of the rest of the population to people who are unsheltered. One of the most common comments I’ve heard is, “Well, you can’t help those people. Most of them want to be on the streets. Even if you offer them housing they don’t want it.” Some people, believing they are being kind, want to help the “deserving” unsheltered population, those who don’t have permanent shelter because of job loss, high rental prices, or other things that are considered external to the person.

 

Most people, whether we want to admit it out loud or not, break down people who are unsheltered into deserving and undeserving groups and include in the undeserving people with addiction issues and/or people with mental illness diagnoses, or a combination of both. The unsheltered are easy to ignore, just walk across the street, avoid certain areas, don’t make eye contact, pretend you don’t hear someone talking to you.

 

Here’s the thing, people without permanent shelter are full, real human beings with needs, wants, desires, dreams, just like people with permanent shelter. We, as a country and a culture have to look at the reasons why we’re willing to let people live on the streets. Some cities have started shelter first programs that give people a safe place to live first, before dealing with any other issues someone might have. These efforts are largely successful, because people feel wanted and cared for and they have a better track record than those programs that require people to “get it together” before being housed.

 

Today, question your assumptions about those who are living without permanent shelter. See what happens when you stop using the term “The Homeless” and start seeing people living without permanent shelter as real human beings, as siblings, parents, children, cousins.

It’ll Happen to You

I know I’ve written about this before, but here’s the thing, we’re all going to die. Might be today, might be in thirty years, but death comes to everyone. Avoiding the topic, pretending it won’t happen won’t stop it. There is no cheating death. If you look at death as failure than all of life is a losing battle. If instead you accept the fact that life has an unknown endpoint and give up trying to stop deat from happening, you can spend that energy on things that are life fulfilling.

 

So much of our medical system is based on staving off death; patients and doctors alike are reluctant to talk about mortality. Many people don’t receive the full benefits of hospice care, because no one will discuss with them the fact that they are dying. We don’t talk about death with our loved ones who are dying because we don’t want to upset them.The truth is, many people who are dying want to talk about it, but don’t because they fear upsetting their loved ones, so people suffer in silence.

 

Whether you die quickly or slowly, whether by accident, illness, murder, suicide or any other cause, you will die. So, instead of worrying about how and when it will happen, why not live? Why not live fully now? As Leslie Feinberg once said, “Live each day as if your hair was on fire.”

 

Talk about death. Talk about what you want when you’re dying. Talk about what you want done with your body after death. Take the stigma out of it. One day you will return to the nothingness from which you came. All your worry, panic, hoarding of love and money won’t stop it. Give up the fight and accept life now.

Rectitude

Rectitude is a word not often heard in casual conversation these days. Defined as rightness of principle or conduct, I often think of it as doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do, or having the ability to stand one’s moral ground in the face of great temptation. In recent years, there have been many stories about business executives involved in illegal business practices, because they could not resist the temptation of money; the Savings and Loan scandal in the eighties,the Enron debacle, Bernie Madoff’s scheme are a few examples of people giving into temptation. Many of us will not endure that kind of test of our rectitude, but, we do get tested on a smaller scale on a daily basis.

 

The true test of rectitude is not what you do when people are watching, or when others know your actions—it is what you do when you are alone with no chance of getting caught. Ask yourself if you are more likely to think, “I will do the right thing, because it is the right thing to do” or, “I can get away with this, because no one will find out, or if they do, I can make up a good story.” How you answer this says a lot about the way you are in the world. I have often been accused of being overly ethical and I will gladly own that. Rectitue is a characteristic I value in myself and others.

 

What do you do when you’re alone? Do you give into temptation and do what’s expedient, or do you hold fast and do what’s right? Do you do things that are illegal because of the thrill of getting away with them, or because you secretly think the law doesn’t apply to you? Get honest with yourself about yourself.

Willful Ignorance

Today I woke up in a mood. I am tired of encountering people who are willfully ignorant, people whose motto seems to be , “Don’t confuse me with the facts, I have all the answers (thanks to my mom for that phrase).” There is science and there is opinion. Science, is based on facts, opinion is based on make believe, wishing and, often willful ignorance, “A decision in bad faith to avoid becoming informed about something so as to avoid having to make undesirable decisions that such information might prompt.”

 

Willful ignorance is the adult equivalent of a child putting a finger in their ears and saying, “La, la, la I can’t hear you.” It stymies rational discussion. Humans, by nature are not rational, we have to work at it. We like to think we are rational, but we are not. Most of our decisions are based, not on facts, but on hidden beliefs, wishes, hopes, implicit and explicit biases, early childhood conditioning, cultural, religious and pop-culture notions, and a host of other things of which we are usually only dimly aware.

 

People ask me why I don’t eat meat. When I answer that it’s an ethical decision, the response I most often get is, “Oh, don’t tell me about how animals are mistreated. If I knew I couldn’t eat my hamburger.” That is willful ignorance. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, I’m not arguing everyone should be vegan, but what I am arguing is that before making a decision, analyze the factors going into that decision. Look at your biases, hidden beliefs and assumptions. Educate yourself. Be honest, especially with yourself. Read scientific journals, not Joe Bob’s website of amazing facts. Actual science is replicable and based on accumulated evidence and experimentation.

 

Today, analyze your beliefs. Think about your decisions and be honest about your motivations. The truth might just scare the you-know-what out of you.

Not Just Human

This morning I heard a radio interview with Frans de Waal, a primatologist who works at Emory University. He was talking about how similar primates are to humans and how most of our non-verbal emotional reactions are almost identical. He noted that he is surprised by how many humans are surprised that primates have strong emotional ties. Primates, particularly chimpanzees are very closely related to humans.

 

Chimpanzees kiss each other, hug, comfort each other, develop very strong emotional attachments that he argues could be called love, mourn for other chimps when they die. The same is true of other primates like bonobos, gorillas and orangutans as well as for marine mammals.

 

It’s becoming clearer and clearer that many of the things that used to be considered only true of humans are not. Other species create tools, once thought to be a hallmark of humans. Other species think creatively and develop new things, once thought to be a hallmark of humans. Other species have clear abilities to learn from other members of their species and then innovate from what they’ve learned, once thought to be hallmark of humans. Other species can feel love, sadness, joy, happiness. Other species wage wars, broker peace treaties, develop trade agreements.

 

What does seem to be unique to humans is our penchant for “othering” people we perceive as different and denying them their humanity. It is only humans that make the assumption that someone’s relative worth depends on their skin color, sexual orientation, gender expression, physical or intellectual abilities, ethnic descent, body size and shape, cultural background, or religion. Humans have made an art of discrimination, using all of our human faculties to rationalize hatred. What one thing can you do today to help dismantle hate? Praying won’t do it. Thinking good thoughts won’t do it. Talking only to like minded people won’t do it. Today do something, one thing to bring people together.

It’s all divine

I don’t often write about overtly spiritual things in my blog, but the spiritual life is something I think about and wrestle with often. In Everything is God: The Radical Path of Nondual Judaism, Jay Michaelson argues that the Divine is a verb not a noun. Rather than God or Spirit a better way to describe it might be Godding or Was-is-will-be or even Is-ing. Because, if this presence is all there is, then everything is it; all that has been, is, or will be. At the human level this is difficult to comprehend, because this means EVERYTHING is divine, not just the happy, jolly stuff.

As Michaelson writes about, and as I’ve written about before, it’s easy to be spiritual when things are going well—it’s easy to say it’s all divine when we’re happy, our relationships are good, the economy is flourishing and our bellies are full. But what happens when we are confronted with illness, despair, loss of a job, the end of a relationship, the death of a loved one? What then? Many in new thought gloss over these times with trite adages, “It’s all good, it’s all God” or “your consciousness created that, your consciousness can change it.” But, as Michaelson writes these “spiritual bromides” are really timidity. “The courageous religious life” he argues, “…is one which does not deny a thing; not science, not war, nor the capacity of humans to do evil.” Rather than look for happy endings, or live in the land of desire, living an enlightened life,  requires knowing that “…What Is, simply is, whether I want it to be so or not. We do not accept What Is because it is acceptable; we accept it because it is.” Wow, to me this really captures the notion of what I try to teach and to live (although not very successfully and only in fits and starts).

I sometimes find it easier to grasp difficult concepts if I can attach them to experience. So, I offer this exercise to you as a way to grasp the notion of allowing What Is to simply Be.  Stand naked before a full-length mirror and do not judge what you see—neither with positive nor with negative judgments—simply allow yourself to see What Is. Be with yourself intimately, really see your Is-ness. If you can get to this place of non-judging with your body of accepting what is, because it is, without positive or negative value judgment, you can begin to imagine what it is like to live naked before the divine. This type of living does not deny any human experience, rather it allows for us to experience the fullness of being human and to embrace it all. For, if we spent a fraction of the time we worry, fret, plot and stew actually experiencing our experiences, life would be much richer.

Life is all around you, in you as you—experience it now. Stand naked before the divine.